Gender’s lost IDs

Women claim that nowadays it is hard to find “real” men. By this, I suppose they mean that today men can’t take decisions and responsibilities just as their father’s did. And this may be true. But why this happens?

1.       Modern women have undertaken this role voluntarily. In contrast with the previous generations, modern women are free to do whatever men use to do. The point is how they do it. They don’t have an example set by their mother, so they have to imitate their father’s behaviour. As a result, they adopt masculine patterns of behaviour, according to the stereotypes of the past, and part of this is the procedure to undertake the decision and the responsibility.

2.      Modern men permit women doing so. The previous model of family where father was the boss seems to be unfair for the mother of the young boy. So, he rejects it and adopts a more democratic way of behaviour towards women.

Nowadays, a woman is looking for a man like her father, and either she can’t find one or she can’t have him since she wants to be in charge. On the other hand, a man is looking for a woman like his mother, but also either he can’t find one or he can’t attract her since he doesn’t try to be in charge.

My default settings

Recently, I noticed something strange. I was just waken up and shaving, when I remembered that the previous night I fell asleep listening to music. For some reason, I felt a sense of shame for the kind of songs I was enjoying the previous night. And that was happening again and again. After sleeping, I have different music taste. More specifically, during daytime I am used to listening to western kind of music, while at noon I prefer an eastern one.
Then, I realised that this phenomenon used to be more general. As long as my mind is clear, I am keen on western way of life and my behaviour follows the context of my western-type education. By the time I got tired, my mind returns to its "default settings": the eastern way of life and behaviour of my parents.
Based on this, I formed a theory: our early education and character shaping is much stronger than the one we obtain later on from school. Our development during early childhood shapes our "default settings". Our education provides adjustments to these settings and forms our new values and behavioral norms. All of our "default settings" may be subjected to change through our lifetime. However, their core always exists buried in our mind and it comes to surface during "brain failure" (e.g.fatigue).
Can this be right? Is there a similar established theory? And if true, how can it be helpful?